i received a bouquet of flowers

i received a bouquet of flowers
from you, meant for someone else
and in the shared irreverence
of this gift (hey, it’s her loss!)
and the walk-talk we took
tree we climbed, i saw
what you don’t readily show

then a fresh bouquet
(all mine, i laughed with such delight)
arranged it into little glass bottles
around my bedroom
a bold vase in the lounge too
to share my love of colour and mischief
which i so readily showed you

i offered more space to my heart
looked in, stayed attuned
to the risks of your overwhelm
rewards of your strong body
beautiful spirit, soft heart

curled up like a cat against you
while you were sick as a dog
offered warmth to your worries
melted in our fevered heat

then watched you drown
trying to rescue the world
before you slipped us
free of each other
your crisis carrying you
away from me

though betrayed by your about-turn
it’s better it ended when it did:
before we loved each other
and had to answer bigger questions—
and because i didn’t want it
to continue if it couldn’t continue
as it was

Short, sweet, and over – both the experience and the poem.

This one took time. Not just to write, but to navigate. Finding the poem’s shape ran in parallel with finding my own: I’m a little harder now, yes, but I’m also more focused, with a clearer sense of direction.

It’s been a different kind of poem for me — emotionally uncertain at first, structurally unfamiliar — and that feels like a sign I’m moving somewhere new.

This morning, after days of heavy rain and flooding here in Hoedspruit, the images of water, drowning, and being carried away suddenly felt very real. Though I’m temporarily stuck inside the estate where I live, I’m no longer stuck with this poem.

I’m glad it’s done.

P.S. This is my 30th publicly shared poem. I promised myself I’d write 50 before approaching a publisher, or self-publishing, which I’m increasingly drawn to.

PHOTO: Sharmina Khan/Pexels